Tuesday, November 29, 2011

A World Gone Mad

 

I have always been an optimist, I have always believed the no matter what kind of mess that humanity got itself in, we would find a way to overcome. Look at everything we’ve overcome so far, World War 2, Terrorist attacks, disease, invasions. We have always overcome. Today my faith was all but destroyed.

Humanity is a sorry thing. We have this super awesome gift called life, and we choose to squander and waste it. We fuck off each day wasting away with pointless drama. Every single person who reads this is guilty of it, including the author.

I’ve always fought to help the little person, the nerd in high school, the co-worker who didn’t work as fast as the other guys. Even to this day I try to counsel my friends, I try to help them make the right choices. For the record I don’t have many friends left. This hasn’t gotten me anywhere. Being nice sucks. Being nice gets you kicked in the fucking face. This my friends has caused me to lose faith in humanity.

So fuck it from here on out I’m gonna be a cunt and see what that gets me. Fuck all of you.

We're Fucked

Its true humanity is looking down the barrel of a loaded gun. May God have mercy on all of our souls

Captain Twiggy and the Too Thin Avenger

 

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Introducing Nicole Richie as Twiggy

 

So I was sitting around, fucking off on facebook when I had this brilliant idea for a movie. What if gross skinny chicks became super hero’s? So after a quick google search for Skinny chicks, I discovered a depleted looking Nicole Richie who looks Heath Ledger as The Joker Gross. I want to cast her as Twiggy, the Super Hero who can shoot ribs straight out of her chest. I mean there’s no meat to stop the ribs from getting through.

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And Introducing Some Gross Model as The Too Thin Avenger!

 

I have no idea whom this model is, but she fits the profile for the Too Thin Avenger. Her super power is the ability to projectile vomit directly into the face of bad guys. Because there is no food in her stomach, the bile burns her victims eyes right from their heads.

I smell a blockbuster. Stay tuned, I’m calling Peter Jackson right now.

 

Fucking Eat Something

 

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Fucking eat something seriously, you may call it a disease but I just call it gross. IF you’re not gonna eat at least put some fucking clothes on.

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How many of you think that this chick is attractive? Well if you raised your hand, do the world a favor and jump off a fucking cliff. There is enough mouth breathers in the world. We don’t need anymore.