Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The more I get to know myself, the more I want to dance to polka music

I like me, I mean of course I love myself, but I like me too. That's a new weird thing I have going on in my life. I deal with psychopaths on a regular basis, so maybe that helps make it easier to like me.

I don't like the world we live in. I don't like the way that tv/internet/shit music have taken over. Maybe that's always been the case, I don't know I haven't lived forever. I feel like sex is everywhere, our children are going to be so desensitized to it. That's scary. Sex is supposed to be special, not something you use to sell some kids a pack of pokemon cards.

Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and Syria, and Egypt, and Libya, and Thailand, and The Ukraine, and Venezuela, and don't even get me started on Africa. ( I realize not all of those places are technically at war but war could be a distinct possibility in each place). You would think after a few thousand years we would have evolved enough to not let this happen.

How do we fix it? I haven't the faintest idea. Not a fucking clue. Not one. I'm the guy who can't figure out what to take for lunch. BUT I do that if we had some of the smartest people in the world working on this problem, instead of working for advertising corporations, maybe just maybe we would stand a chance.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

And I'm Back

So I'm back, I'm going to try to write some more things. I like writing things, writing things reminds of a time when the world wasn't so fucked up.


I've also learned to love making stupid pictures at memegenerator. At one point and time I was going to teach myself to GIMP but I haven't enough time. 

I don't know what this blog is going to end up being, but I know that I have something to say and this is the perfect forum for me to say that something which I need to say. I'll probably give up in a couple of days, but until then I encourage you to read. Maybe not this blog, but please read something. Anything. 

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

A World Gone Mad


I have always been an optimist, I have always believed the no matter what kind of mess that humanity got itself in, we would find a way to overcome. Look at everything we’ve overcome so far, World War 2, Terrorist attacks, disease, invasions. We have always overcome. Today my faith was all but destroyed.

Humanity is a sorry thing. We have this super awesome gift called life, and we choose to squander and waste it. We fuck off each day wasting away with pointless drama. Every single person who reads this is guilty of it, including the author.

I’ve always fought to help the little person, the nerd in high school, the co-worker who didn’t work as fast as the other guys. Even to this day I try to counsel my friends, I try to help them make the right choices. For the record I don’t have many friends left. This hasn’t gotten me anywhere. Being nice sucks. Being nice gets you kicked in the fucking face. This my friends has caused me to lose faith in humanity.

So fuck it from here on out I’m gonna be a cunt and see what that gets me. Fuck all of you.

We're Fucked

Its true humanity is looking down the barrel of a loaded gun. May God have mercy on all of our souls

Captain Twiggy and the Too Thin Avenger



Introducing Nicole Richie as Twiggy


So I was sitting around, fucking off on facebook when I had this brilliant idea for a movie. What if gross skinny chicks became super hero’s? So after a quick google search for Skinny chicks, I discovered a depleted looking Nicole Richie who looks Heath Ledger as The Joker Gross. I want to cast her as Twiggy, the Super Hero who can shoot ribs straight out of her chest. I mean there’s no meat to stop the ribs from getting through.


And Introducing Some Gross Model as The Too Thin Avenger!


I have no idea whom this model is, but she fits the profile for the Too Thin Avenger. Her super power is the ability to projectile vomit directly into the face of bad guys. Because there is no food in her stomach, the bile burns her victims eyes right from their heads.

I smell a blockbuster. Stay tuned, I’m calling Peter Jackson right now.


Fucking Eat Something



Fucking eat something seriously, you may call it a disease but I just call it gross. IF you’re not gonna eat at least put some fucking clothes on.


How many of you think that this chick is attractive? Well if you raised your hand, do the world a favor and jump off a fucking cliff. There is enough mouth breathers in the world. We don’t need anymore.